Dear Diary
by autumn midnights
Summary: 'Lucy told me that I should write down anything I wanted, even if it seemed silly. I'm not going to write down stupid stuff, however. This is going to be a mature diary, and I'm only going to write down the important stuff that happens to me.' Rose keeps a diary to chronicle the important events of her Hogwarts years, including her growing interest in one Scorpius Malfoy.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sadly. _

_Author's Note: Written for owluvr, courtesy of the Gift-Giving Extravaganza 2013. I hope you enjoy this! _

_Also, the writing style in the diary is purposely informal (especially in the earlier sections), just to get a more realistic tone. _

* * *

_September 1st, 2017_

_Dear Diary,_

_Lucy was the one who told me I should start a diary. She told me that I should write down anything I wanted, even if it seemed silly - that's what she does, I guess. She's always writing in that thing. I don't want to write down stupid stuff, though. I tried to have a diary when I was little - like seven - but I wrote down things like what I had for breakfast. This is going to be a mature diary, and I'm only going to write down the important things that happen to me. I think it'll take me years to finish this, then, but I don't care._

_Today was my first day at Hogwarts. I'm writing this from my dormitory - I made it into Ravenclaw, like Molly and Dom and Vic. The other girls in my dormitory seem nice, but they're all asleep. It's really dark in here, and I can barely see. I keep trying to do 'Lumos' with my wand but it's not working. I don't think I'm waving it around right. _

_I sat with Al on the train, and for a little while it seemed like it was going to just be us. Which would have been fine, I guess, since Al's my best friend, but I was kind of hoping someone else would come in. I want to have other friends at Hogwarts. So this girl poked her head in and asked if she could come in, and then she brought a boy with her. It was the boy that Dad had told me to stay away from - Scorpius Malfoy. I looked at Al and I wondered if we should leave, but then I decided to take a leaf out of Lily's book and be a little disobedient. So I didn't say anything. _

_The girl was Scorpius's relative, Leda. They stayed in the compartment with us for the whole ride, but they were actually cool. They weren't horrible people. Dad always jokes about Slytherins and stuck-up purebloods being really mean, but Leda and Scorpius were really friendly and fun. Leda's pretty sarcastic, but not really in a mean way. More in a Lily way. Leda and Scorpius were both sorted into Slytherin, but that didn't seem to change what they thought of Al and I. They were clapping for us and they waved at us when Al went to the Hufflepuff table and I went to Ravenclaw._

_I can't see anymore. So I think I'm going to end this diary entry._

_-Rose_

* * *

_January 29, 2018_

_Dear Diary,_

_My mum's going to be so angry if she finds out what happened today. I swear, though, it wasn't my fault. Veronica was annoying me so much, and she was being absolutely unfair and ridiculous. What was I supposed to do?_

_She's been going on about my friendship with Leda and Scorpius for a really long time. She's one of those people who hates Slytherins - kind of like James, except worse - and she can't stop talking about it because I'm a Weasley-Potter who's friends with two 'filthy snakes'. I've had to listen to her say this sort of thing since September! And since she's my roommate, there's no escape. Whenever we're together, she always says something about how I shouldn't be friends with them. How they're going to be a bad influence, or how they're evil, or something stupid like that._

_So today after classes, my roommates and I were going back to the dormitory, just walking in a group. And I said that I'd catch up with them because I wanted to see if I could find Leda and Scorpius. I probably shouldn't have said that, because then Veronica turned to face me and started going on about them again. Blah blah blah slimy Slytherins, blah blah blah. She was raising her voice and everything, scolding me like Mum. That just made me angrier than usual, because I'm actually older than her. _

_I started to argue back. Although that just served to get me even more annoyed. Mum says sometimes that I've inherited Dad's temper. I think she's right, because I pulled out my wand and hexed Veronica and then I ran. Veronica told on me, though, and I got detention. It's only for three days, because it's my first rule-breaking and because I didn't even do anything serious, but still. Mum's going to kill me if she finds out. Professor MacDougal - that's head of Ravenclaw House - isn't writing my parents, but I wouldn't be surprised if they still find out. Mum seems to find out everything._

_-Rose_

* * *

_June 17, 2018_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm done with my first year at Hogwarts! I passed all my exams, and Leda and Al said that I was a show-off because I kept going over the results. I don't know what they're talking about, because Leda scored better than I did in three classes and Al scored better than me in Herbology. Maybe because once exams are over they ripped up their papers and burned them, but I wanted to save mine. I think Mum saved hers too. I don't know if she still has them, though._

_Leda said that we should come over to her house, but I don't think Al and I are going to be able to because her parents never supervise anything. And Scorpius invited us over to, but that's not going to happen because I haven't even told Mum and Dad that we're friends yet. Oops. I probably should do that. I want to go over Scorpius's house. Or have him come over to mine. Leda, too. _

_-Rose_

* * *

_October 15, 2019_

_Dear Diary,_

_I haven't written in this in a really long time. I guess that's because nothing interesting has really happened to me. I mean, Hogwarts is a lot of fun, but there was nothing special that happened in my second year, and I decided when I started this journal that I only want to write down special things. I think this counts._

_Because I'm a third year now, I'm allowed to go to Hogsmeade. My parents signed the permission slip, of course, and so for the first time, I went down to Hogsmeade with Al, Leda, and Scorpius. We had a lot of fun, of course - I finally got to try Butterbeer, Leda bought about ten Galleons' worth of stuff at the Hogsmeade Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, and Scorpius and Al were pigging out at Honeydukes. Typical blokes. Anyway, we were planning to go again to the next weekend planned, because Hogsmeade hasn't lost its appeal for us the way it has for some of the older students, but it turns out I'm not going with them after all._

_I hate to sound so excited about this, but I can't help it - Ryan Clement asked me out! A boy asked me out!_

_I am going to Hogsmeade with a boy!_

_Okay, now that my moment of stupidity is over...I'm not in love with Ryan or anything. I didn't actually notice him much before he asked me out today. I knew him as a fellow student in my year, one of Al's roommates, but that was about it. But he's nice enough, and I think he's cute, and I don't see anything actually wrong with going to Hogsmeade with him. I think it's going to be fun - it's my first date. _

_I don't plan to tell my mum this._

_-Rose_

* * *

_December 22, 2019_

_Dear Diary,_

_Ryan broke up with me. We were kind of dating for the past two months, I guess - going to Hogsmeade weekends together and hanging out when we had some spare time. He kissed me a few times, but it was kind of slobbery and wet. I don't know what the big fuss is. I'm tempted to ask Victoire if it's supposed to be that slobbery, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to admit to her that I kissed someone. A few people know, but Victoire's basically an adult and that's a little scary. She might tell Mum - or even worse, she might tell all of my aunts and uncles as well as my parents and then they'll all tease me when I get home. _

_Anyway, after two months of going out he broke it off. He thought I was cheating on him with Scorpius. Which is kind of ridiculous because Scorpius and I spend a lot of time with Leda and Al, so it's not like we're alone. But I suppose common sense isn't really a big part of a thirteen-year-old boy's brain. I'm not really broken up about it. I liked Ryan, but I wasn't obsessed with him or anything. I'll be perfectly fine. And now I can spend time with Scorpius without having to worry about Ryan looking over my shoulder. Which is good, because that's kind of a disturbing mental image now that I think of it. _

_Maybe I should invite Scorpius over for Christmas holidays. Mum and Dad know we're friends, and they're cool with it, but we've never visited each other during holidays. I think we should. Leda's busy with family things, she said, but I bet Scorpius isn't._

_-Rose_

* * *

_January 5, 2020_

_Dear Diary,_

_Scorpius came over my house for three days during Christmas holidays. He roomed with Hugo, which was pretty awkward because I could hear Hugo going on and on about his writing goals, and Scorpius had no idea how to respond. I don't even know how to respond to Hugo half the time - the kid's eleven and he wants to write a freaking encyclopedia about the First and Second Wizarding Wars. He's not normal - and I'm not just saying that because he's my little brother._

_Anyway, Scorpius and I had a good time. Mum and Dad were pretty cool about it. They were a little overprotective, though. We weren't allowed to be in a bedroom alone. We had to stay out of all the bedrooms unless Hugo was with us. We decided to stay out of bedrooms instead of having Hugo trail us around like a puppy. No big sacrifice for us. I swear, Mum and Dad think we're together or something. Mum kept looking between the two of us like she was expecting us to announce it at the table, and Dad kept cracking jokes and making silly threats to Scorpius. I don't think he knew how to respond. I didn't either._

_-Rose_

* * *

_September 22, 2020_

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel like a hormonal teenage girl. _

_I suppose, technically, I am a hormonal teenage girl, but my recent thoughts have made me notice it even more. _

_Scorpius got more attractive over the summer. I didn't see him all summer, because we were visiting Aunt Fleur's sister in France for almost a month and then Scorpius and his parents went on holiday, too. Leda came over for a week or so, though. That was fun. She's taken a bit of a shine to Lily, since Lily's a Slytherin too, and Lily kind of looks up to her. James was being a bit annoying, though, and making comments about Slytherins steadily infiltrating the Weasley-Potter homes. He shut up when Leda said, "I know where you sleep." He also shut up because she said that she would hex his balls off. He put his hand over his crotch and backed out of the room when she said that, and Lily and I were almost crying because we were laughing so hard. Al was the only one who seemed sympathetic to James._

_Anyway, so because I didn't see Scorpius all summer, I didn't anticipate that he would be attractive when we got back to Hogwarts for our fourth year. It's a little distracting. I'm not in love with him or anything, but he's nice to look at. _

_I need to stop looking at him in lessons, though. I think some of the teachers are beginning to notice._

_-Rose_

* * *

_November 30, 2020_

_Dear Diary,_

_Scorpius is dating Cordelia Davies. She's a Slytherin in our year. I think she's obnoxious and stuck-up, but I guess he doesn't. He's been spending a lot of time with her, and it's a little bit annoying. Leda and Al are great to hang out with, but I miss the days when it was always four of us. _

_I want him to be happy, because he's my friend, but I can't help but hope he breaks up with Cordelia._

_-Rose_

* * *

_July 22, 2021_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm writing this from Leda's house. 'Mansion' or 'manor' might be a more appropriate term, actually. Her house is enormous. It's only her and her parents, too, so that makes it seem even larger. They have a library that's comparable to the Hogwarts library, I think, although Leda's library has a lot more Dark Arts books. I need to remind myself not to tell Lily about that part, although I'm sure Leda's already let her borrow things that she probably shouldn't. Leda's parents never supervise us, either. _

_I'm not like Lily or James or Roxanne, always causing trouble, but it's fun to be able to hang out with my friends without having to worry about adults watching us. We've been going all over the house and the grounds. Leda says tomorrow maybe we can go into the nearest town, because it's not far. I can't even see the town from the highest window here, though, so I don't think her definition of 'not far' is the same as mine. That doesn't surprise me, though, because Leda's way more fit than I am. Maybe that's because she always walks to town._

_Scorpius isn't going out with Cordelia Davies anymore. I'm happy, and that kind of scares me a little bit._

_-Rose_

* * *

_September 17, 2021_

_Dear Diary,_

_This is bad. This is very, very bad. I definitely didn't want this to happen. In fact, in a list of Things I Wanted To Happen, this wouldn't be on it at all. It might be on a list of Things I Didn't Want To Happen, though. Oh, Merlin, I'm rambling. _

_I think I'm in love._

_I didn't plan for this. I mean, I've had little crushes before, people I fancied, but it always passed pretty quickly. There really wasn't anything of importance, just stupid little things. This feels more...intense. Like this is real - I'm really in love. _

_With Scorpius Malfoy._

_That's why I didn't want this to happen. Scorpius is one of my best friends. If he found out that I fancied him - or worse, that I was crazily in love - then that would probably ruin our friendship, and I'm so scared of that happening. I don't want to lose him as a friend. I wouldn't mind gaining him as a boyfriend, but how could I be sure that he fancied me back? I'm not good at these things. I would ask Leda, but she's even worse than I am. She doesn't really date - she basically spends most of her time bickering with Al, hanging out with the rest of us, or hanging out with a few other Slytherin girls. She's also said she doesn't really do 'love', which I think sums up her opinion on the matter. _

_I don't know what to do. I don't want to be in love with one of my best friends, but I can't help it. And now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act. I mean, I know I should act normal, but I don't know if I can._

_(Also, I'm a prefect)._

_-Rose_

* * *

_December 1, 2021_

_Dear Diary (or maybe I should just call this 'Love Journal' or something, since all I seem to write about anymore is Scorpius),_

_I'm confused._

_There's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up, and Al's skipping it to study for OWLs, and Leda's going with Lily and this other Slytherin girl who I don't know. Since Leda, Al, Scorpius, and I usually go, it makes sense that without the two of them, it would obviously be just Scorpius and I. I was looking forward to it, of course, but I didn't think a whole lot about it because it was just going as friends. Going to Hogsmeade together doesn't indicate romance (after all, if it did, then Leda would be in a lesbian threesome)(I fear I've been spending too much time around her, because that's a comment she would make, not me), so I didn't let myself get too excited._

_And then he decided to confuse me._

_I don't think he did it on purpose. But he came up to me in the corridor after classes and said, "For this Saturday - it's a date, right?" _

_The confusing thing is that I have no idea how he meant it! I mean, he could have meant it completely innocently, entirely platonically...but it could also be interpreted like a romantic date, and I can't wrap my brain around which one he was referring to._

_I told Leda that I'm in love with Scorpius. She asked me if I was going to do anything about it, and I said, "Maybe." I want to. I just have no idea what to do. I wish there was some way I could find out exactly what to do to see whether he has a crush on me._

_-Rose_

* * *

_March 12, 2022_

_Dear Diary,_

_So the 'date' with Scorpius in December didn't end up being a date, but that didn't end up mattering anyway._

_I think I'm in heaven._

_Or actually, no, because I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that there are no OWLs to study for in heaven. But other than that, everything about my life is perfect right now. I'm in paradise._

_Or, in other words, Scorpius and I are together._

_It wasn't actually me who came out and admitted how I felt first. Scorpius took me aside - to the Room of Requirement, actually (Mum and Dad would have a fit if they knew Scorpius and I were alone in that room, which is exactly why I'm not planning to tell them that). He confessed that he had fancied me for a couple of months now. I could tell it was hard for him to say because he wasn't used to being serious and sincere, but he did a really nice job, and I could tell he honestly was. I told him how I felt too, and he was so happy. I kissed him right then and there._

_We're officially together now. Leda and Al are the only people who know, and for a little while we're going to keep it this way. People have - for the most part - gotten used to me being friends with a Malfoy, but I don't want to make things complicated again and deal with everyone's crap and criticism. I know it would start all up again if we started dating. Neither of us are sure how our dads would take it, either. We don't think they would kick us out or anything drastic like that, but there might be a lecture or something, and we both agree that we don't want to deal with that quite yet._

_I don't care. I'm floating on a cloud right now. _

_-Rose_

* * *

_October 1, 2022 _

_Dear Diary,_

_Leda and Al are together now too. They slept together at Autumn Vaisey's party, because they both had copious amounts of Firewhiskey and lost all inhibitions (James was snogging the couch at that party, I swear to Merlin), and then after that they decided that they were going to get together. I guess it would have been a little awkward to have a one-night stand with your best friend._

_I'm happy for them. They have been bantering like a couple since first year. It kind of reminds me of Mum and Dad, a bit, to be honest, even though Leda and Al's personalities aren't anything like my parents'. Their bickering is kind of the same, though. They tease each other a lot. It's kind of adorable. _

_I've been a little nervous because Scorpius is spending a lot of time with Lily. Apparently he's helping her with a prank she's planning. It wouldn't be the first time, but I'm still a little worried and jealous. _

_-Rose_

* * *

_November 2nd, 2022_

_Dear Diary,_

_Turns out I didn't need to worry about the possibility of Lily and Scorpius carrying on a relationship. They were honestly planning a prank - they carried it out on Halloween, and I got dragged into it (against my will). They recruited about a fourth of the school to help them spread chaos, namely by using Uncle George's products at various areas of the school. It was pretty clever and well-carried-out, even though I try to disapprove of such things because of the fact I'm a prefect. Good thing they didn't link me to any of this - I might have lost that badge._

_Everything's great between me and Scorpius now. I'm happy._

_-Rose_

* * *

_March 11, 2023_

_Dear Diary,_

_I've decided that when I get a job, I'm going to work at the Ministry, in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I'm not totally sure exactly what I want to do (except that I know I could never be an Auror or a Hit-Witch, since I could never get through the training), but I'm pretty certain that I want to go into that field. _

_Scorpius isn't sure what he wants to do, but once he finishes Hogwarts, he's going to take a trip around the world. It's an old Wizarding custom, actually, to travel after finishing school, but most people don't do it anymore because of how expensive everything is. It's hard to travel like that for most people, but Scorpius's family is rich, so they can afford it. _

_He invited me, Leda, and Al along with him, saying that his family's got enough extra to pay for all four of us (although Leda's about as rich as Scorpius is, and she could chip in as well). I'd love to go. I can only imagine how amazing that would be, traveling the world with my two best friends and my boyfriend. It sounds absolutely amazing; I can't think of anything that I'd rather do more, at the moment. I just don't know if Mum and Dad would let me. They - well, especially Mum - have always advocated getting a job straight out of Hogwarts, and not waiting around. Apparently people who wait around don't end up doing much, or they wait too long to do anything productive._

_I'm not sure how I'll convince them. I know I should bring the idea up soon, so that I have a lot of time to work on it, but I have no idea how to breach that topic with them. That's not going to be a fun conversation._

_-Rose_

* * *

_September 29, 2023_

_Dear Diary,_

_One month in, and already seventh year is hell. I hate NEWTs. I know that they're important, but right now, I wish they didn't exist. I think I would be the happiest person in the world if I didn't have to take NEWTs. _

_Scorpius wants to skip his because he's probably not going to need to get a real job anyway. He's just going to live off of the Malfoy fortune, probably. _

_Leda told him that she'll curse him if he doesn't take his NEWTs. I wouldn't put it past her._

_-Rose_

* * *

_December 29, 2023_

_Dear Diary,_

_Scorpius and I have officially told our parents about our relationship. It was part of my plan to persuade my parents that I was responsible enough to take an extended holiday after finishing school. My thought was that if we confessed what was going on to our parents, that it might make my parents think that I was an honest, trustworthy person who wouldn't do anything stupid. _

_Every little bit counts, I guess. They took it pretty well. Mum asked a couple questions about whether we were being safe, and Dad got a little overprotective, but they didn't even lecture me about anything._

_They're still not fully convinced about the vacation, but I'm working on it. Slow and steady._

* * *

_March 4, 2024_

_Dear Diary,_

_They've finally said yes. After months of begging, pleading, convincing, and arguing, I've finally persuaded my parents to let me go travel with Scorpius, Leda, and Al. Al got permission only a couple of weeks before I did, actually; I think that was one of the things that helped them say yes to me, since Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry had already said yes to Al. Whatever - I'm just glad that I'm going to be able to go._

_I never realized until this year how aptly-named NEWTs are. Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests sums them up pretty well. Of course, I haven't taken the tests yet, but the preparation and studying alone is horrible. I usually don't mind schoolwork and academic things, but this is so much worse than anything I've had to do so far. OWL year was a blissful night's sleep in comparison to this. I've been going to bed at one and waking up at six. I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop dead - or that I would have already, if it weren't for the wonders of caffeine. _

_Scorpius is far too blasé about NEWTs. They're not important to him, I know, because he's not going to need to get a job, but it's still annoying that he doesn't work as hard as the rest of us. Even Leda's studying hard, because she wants to become a Hit-Witch, and you need NEWTs for that. Al isn't sure what he's going to be, but he's going to end up with a job, and so he's dealing with the Year From Hell as well. _

_Sometimes I just want to say 'screw NEWTs' and go make out with Scorpius for a while._

_-Rose_

* * *

_June 20, 2024_

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm done._

_I've taken all my NEWTs. I'm not going to get the results back for a couple of weeks, unfortunately, but I'm just happy that they're all finished. All of the seventh years are just enjoying our last days here at Hogwarts. It's impossible to believe that we're all going to be leaving soon. This place has been our home for seven years, and now we're all going our separate ways, out into the 'real world'. It's scary, but it's also thrilling to be going on a new adventure._

_The four of us are going to leave for our extended holiday on the first of July. That gives us a little time with our families before we're off (and it also gives us time to pack, since right now all our suitcases are full of our Hogwarts things). I've never been more excited for anything in my life, except perhaps when I was first going to Hogwarts._

_I'm not sure whether I'm going to take this journal with me on our vacation. I'm not sure if I'm even going to use this anymore. This kind of feels like the end of so many things, and I look back on this and see my Hogwarts years chronicled in here. I don't know if my future adventures should be recorded in something that feels so focused on the past. Maybe I'll get a new diary to mark the start of my new adventure, my new life._

_I'm scared to be leaving everything I've ever known - leaving Hogwarts, leaving my family, leaving the country. In the same way, though, it's incredibly thrilling, and I can't wait for it to begin._

_-Rose_


End file.
